Carly Buxton, PhD

This is a post about the importance of allowing employees to embrace their passions and hobbies outside of work, and how it can contribute to building an authentic and thriving company culture.

Earlier this summer, I spent 5:30am-10pm on a movie set, dressed as a 1970s concert-goer for Pharell Williams’s upcoming musical. As is typical with working as “background” (an extra), I spent most of the day sitting around and waiting to be called to set. I read a book and answered some emails, but mostly, I shot the breeze with the other extras, hearing their stories, admiring their period hairdos and costumes, and bonding over our shared interest in film and acting.

I’m told I’ll get in legal trouble if I share the Pharrell photo before the film releases (May 9, 2025, baby), so instead, here’s one of me in background for Swagger (Apple+)

It was so much fun—and a welcome respite from my typical schedule of getting the kids ready for school, a rushed morning workout, followed by a day of online meetings, emails, and hustling on behalf of my fledgling company.

And while there were a handful of full-time actors with us on set, most of the background extras were otherwise employed, and it was fascinating to hear about their “day jobs,” their attitudes toward them, and what enticed them to sneak away from a day of gainful employment to earn $250 for standing around in vintage clothing.

Most had taken a day of PTO to be there. One had called in sick (and had even laid the groundwork for the charade by foreshadowing a faint stomachache the day before… and that’s showbiz, baby). Several others were popping on their phones to answer messages, send a few email pings, and maintain a “green” status on Slack, because they hadn’t formally taken the day off.

Not a single person I talked to—even the PTO folks—had shared the truth of where they’d be that day with their team or manager.

This strikes me as a missed opportunity for company culture-building. And I wondered: is it beneficial or detrimental to build a company culture that truly celebrates employees’ interests, hobbies, and passions outside of work? And if it is beneficial, how do you actually build that?

Most companies—at least until COVID closures and remote-work policies—at least pretended to care about their employees’ work-life balance. At my first “office” job, for example, we were handed a tidy little book about our company’s core values, one of which was “passion.” On that page, the caption reads: “At work or at play, our passion brings out the best in us… In our free time, we expand who we are as people, whether that’s by singing in a jazz band, training for a marathon, or exploring a new country.”

And yet, my teammates and I came to work with the flu; we were expected to linger for evening happy hour with regularity. We sent photos of ourselves working (proof!) when we had to stay home due to snow or sick children, and were met with raised eyebrows when we turned down work travel opportunities. I wouldn’t have dreamed of cutting out early to go sing in a jazz band.

We were expected to have passions—to be interesting people, but we were also expected to put our jobs first in our lives.

My impression is that companies have walked back the “we care about your passions outside of work!” language in the wake of COVID’s impact on work policies. Leadership knows that remote workers are spending portions of their “work day” on non-work activities (such as walking a dog, doing laundry, plating an elaborate lunch, etc.), and they fancy themselves generous by letting that sort of behavior slide, so long as the work gets done. When we all assume that employees are spending some company time on non-work activities, there is less reason to ostentatiously pretend to celebrate it. Just let it go unmentioned. The rise of unmetered / unlimited PTO has only complicated this further, because when the company does not set limits, it falls upon the employee to do so, which means that she must constantly be taking the temperature of her team’s workload, her manager’s patience for PTO-taking, the unspoken standard for PTO-taking in her department, and her ability to “appear” engaged enough.

But let me put this out there: as a manger—as a team builder—I have seen that it behooves you to build a company culture that actually celebrates your employees’ interests and lives outside of work. The sort of place where an employee feels able to take a day off to be an extra in a movie–and to be forthcoming about it–is a place where talented employees will want to stay and grow. And each time your junior developer tickles her touchpad to stay “green” on Slack while she waits to be called to set, she is building resentment toward her company, her team, her manager, and her role. How good would it feel for her to say: “Hey team, I’m taking PTO tomorrow to be an extra in Pharell’s musical!” to which her manager responds something like: “Wow, cool! Have fun. I say we schedule a team watch party when the movie comes out.”

That’s an employee being celebrated for having a passion.

And I get why this can be complicated for managers; I’ve been on that side, too. I’ve managed people who dally around, doing what they want while pretending to work, and that’s not fun either. It’s like my undergrads whose printers kept “breaking” when papers were due: I know you’re fibbing. And you know I know you’re fibbing. But we just… pretend and hope that the work gets done by the deadline.

Pretending anything is the antithesis of authenticity. And I’m a firm believer that authenticity is critical to building a successful team, a thriving workplace.

I don’t really have conclusions to draw here, as this has been more of a “thinking aloud” sort of writing exercise. But the questions I’ll leave you with are:

•   Do you want to build a workplace that truly celebrates work-life balance? (And the answer here may be “no,” but if it is, stop pretending that it’s “yes”)

•   Do you want employees to bring their authentic selves to work?

•   How can you support authenticity and individuality in your employees?

•   How can you ensure that employees feel comfortable telling the truth about why and when they are not putting work first?

•   Is unmetered PTO actually undermining your employees’ ability to take time for themselves?

And ask yourself similar questions if you’re the employee rather than the culture builder. When it comes to fulfilling the needs and wants in your life outside of work, what do you feel incapable of sharing with your boss, and can you imagine a workplace where that hesitation does not exist?

That’s all for today, except for one last note: look for me TWICE in the upcoming Atlantis movie: once as a snooty tennis club manager, and again in the concert scene, clapping my heart out for young Pharrell. Beige dress, third row back, second seat in. Feeling grateful for a co-founder who would probably screenshot it and put it as my headshot on our company website.